Chuck Norris Joke Generator
Generate, search, and curate Chuck Norris facts using the official API. Features text-to-speech, category filtering, and favorites management.
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About
This tool interfaces with the global distributed ledger of ChuckNorris facts. Unlike standard humor databases, this system retrieves empirically verified singularity events disguised as jokes. The generator utilizes a query-based retrieval method to fetch verified data points regarding the martial artist's infinite impact force.
We employ a fallback redundancy protocol. In the event of an internet outage (presumably caused by a roundhouse kick to a server farm), the system switches to a local cache of high-velocity witticisms. Data is sanitized and presented in a clean, readable format suitable for archival or immediate distribution.
Formulas
The probability P of survival when encountering Chuck Norris is calculated as:
The force F of a roundhouse kick is defined by the impact equation:
Reference Data
| Parameter | Symbol | Value / Unit | Description |
|---|---|---|---|
| Kick Velocity | vkick | 299,792,458 m/s | Speed of a standard roundhouse kick (Light Speed). |
| Chin Hardness | Hc | ∞ Mohs | Behind the beard is not a chin, but another fist. |
| Tears Cured | Ncancer | ALL | Chuck Norris tears cure cancer (he has never cried). |
| Push-ups | ntotal | ALL | He doesn't push himself up, he pushes the Earth down. |
| Binary Code | bcode | {0, 1, Chuck} | His computer keyboards do not have a Ctrl key. |
| Pulse Rate | fpulse | 1 Hz | Measuring the Richter scale of the room. |